Why So Serious?

You might find this strange, but the only time I can hear myself think is when I let myself into this isolated bubble which keeps me in a great distance from the world around me. That isolated bubble is the iPod (which has become one of my most prized possessions since three years ago). It’s probably quite accurate to say that 90 percent of what I wrote were written in my head, recorded there for a while until I find the time to jot them down on paper. Many of what I considered as great scenes in my two previous books were born in my head as I was listening to some particular songs (Alanis Morissette’s Flinch and Annie Lennox’s Why were two of my favorite songs when I wrote Divortiare). I survived one of my most complex business financing analysis at work by listening to Jamie Cullum’s Twentysomething album.
But then again, it’s funny how our mind adjusts itself to the changes around us. I’ve been enjoying my new job for almost 5 months now, and everything changes a lot, at work and in life. My numbers : people ratio (both at and off work) was previously 50 : 50, now it’s 10 : 90 (if this were a mathematical equation, the numbers would represent the amount of time I’m isolating my thoughts by plugging my ears with the iPod). This probably explains why my iPod could survive two weeks without charging and why I kept losing my voice.
Anyway, from time to time, I just love to take a cab when the traffic is the busiest, and let my mind wonder as random music were echoing in between my ears. There’s something liberating about letting hundreds of frame of your life being played back in your head whilst watching the traffic. I love it even more when it rains. It’s like every drop of water touching the windshield represent a nick of my life that deserves to be looked back at.
Lately, thought, I secretly hope that someone would just draw the Joker’s grin on that windshield. Or the word “why so serious.” I haven’t been able to induce temporary amnesia to let go of something that some friends of mine said a couple of weeks ago: “Please go back to the way you used to be. You are now way too serious.”
I don’t think I am. Really. But then again, here I am writing about this.